Just Jokes here!!

Here we will say jokes, ok? Nothing else.

Here i begin:

Jeff Dunham: Walter, your wife is a lovely woman.
Walter: She's getting old.
Jeff Dunham: Well, you know, they say that women age like fine wine.
Walter: She's aging like milk.

Excellent idea with a jokes thread I think :-D

Funny one you got there too :-D
I havn't got any jokes right now, but when I get one, I'll post it immediately :-)

Turkish :-D

One day, during the chat at the cafe, Temel said:
-"Everybody recognizes me, even Mr.Yeltsin!"
Somebody from the crowd said:
-"That is not possible!"
And then Temel replied:
-"If you do not believe me, let's go to Russia and see..."
Therefore, Temel's friends collected enough money to send him to Russia with a witness. Immediately after landing in Moscow, the witness was puzzled because Mr.Yeltsin was waiting for Temel. Temel and Mr.Yeltsin talked for a little while. Temel and the witness were entertained with honour and respect. One day later both of them returned to Turkey, and at the same cafe, Temel said:
-"Mr.Clinton knows me!"
-"It is not possible"
the crowd replied. Temel said again:
-"If you do not believe me, let's go to America and see..."
So, Temel's friend collected enough money to send him to America again with a witness. Immediately after landing in New York, the second witness was also puzzled because Mr.Clinton was waiting for Temel. Temel and Mr.Clinton talked a little while. Temel and the second witness were entertained with honour and respect. One day later both of them returned to Turkey. And at the same cafe, Temel said:
-"The Pope knows me!"
Immediately, a voice came from crowd:
-"Oh really!"
Temel said again:
-"If you do not believe me, let's go to the Vatican and see..."
So, Temel's friends collected enough money to send him to the Vatican with a third witness. That day The Pope was speaking to the crowds from a high place. Temel went there and went up to him. As soon as the Pope saw Temel, he took him in his arms and embrace him.
At that moment the third witness fainted. Temel went to him and said:
-"What happened?"
The third witness replied:
-"There were two Japenese people in front of me and they were chatting. One of them said to the other:
-"That is Temel but I do not recognize the other person who he is speaking to"

hahaa

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"

So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"

Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

:-o

Has fluttered, prays for heavenly blessing you!

DISNEY PASSWORD

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.

I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.

"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."

SMARTEST MAN IN THE WORLD


A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

Hahah :lol:

Good jokes, here is one from me :lol: :
Alexander: You're afraid of offending people?
Achmed: Yeah.
Alexander: You're a terrorist. You kill people.
Achmed: That's different. Killing people is easy; being politically correct is a pain in the ass.

Hope you like it.